Charlie Blog

I had some bad news today and curiously it made me think about how I use twitter.  Don’t get me wrong, when I got the news my first reaction wasn’t to rush to my iPhone and tweet but now, after I’ve told my closest friends and considered the ramifications of what I’d been told I didn’t know if it was right to tweet it.  But I’ve got a problem, I’ve already tweeted about this subject at some length and I think I have some obligation (albeit tenuous) to my twitter followers.

So as I said, I’m now thinking why do I tweet?  Why do I tweet personal thoughts and feelings?  Why am I on Twitter?

I suppose most of the time I tweet I’m hoping to make people laugh.  I’ve been doing that all my life and the fact that I now make a living from that is incidental.  If I wasn’t joking around on twitter I’d be doing it in my day to day life to anyone who was kind or stupid enough to listen.  Once a show off always a show off.  At least showing off  on twitter is probably the safest place of all, you can’t see people rolling their eyes and walking away shaking their heads in silence.  So now we come to the other point, why tweet personal matters?  This is a bit more tricky.  I’ve thought long and hard the answer I’ve come up with is I basically lead quite a solitary life.  I live in a family sized house but I live in it alone.  I probably seem to have quite a busy social life but of course you only remember the ludicrous drunken nights out and showbiz parties I tweet from; not the days and weeks between.  Now I don’t want you to go feeling sorry for me, a solitary life is by no means a lonely one.  But sometimes, when I’m homo alono, it’s nice to share something and to remember there are others out there to laugh, sympathise or merely acknowledge.

Don’t get me wrong, for me (and most of you I’d guess), Twitter can also be unfathomably annoying too.  Inane questions repeated again and again, people wanting to have a ping pong conversation 2 words per tweet, people being over familiar and then, very occasionally, hurtful and rude.  But on the whole twitter is a good place to be, for maybe a few mins, maybe a couple of hours, maybe drunk, hopefully sober.  Of course not everyone’s twitter experience is the same.  If you follow 398 people and have 5 people following you it’s going to be a different experience from someone who follows 398 people but has 5,000 people following them.   I occasionally have people say, “why do you always ignore me?”, hopefully the answer to this is obvious, either it’s completely unintentional or you’re a complete tit.  On the other hands I’ve tweeted people I’ve either worked with once or know ‘to say hello to’ but my tweet gets lost in their 150,000 followers and I end up feeling ignored too.  Either way if you’re getting no return on your twitter investment the options are there for you, leave twitter aside for a while, unfollow, block, delete your twitter account (yes I’ve done all of those!), twitter is only as crap and as good as you make it.   Gosh, the more I think about it Twitter is bloody fantastic, it’s the way people use it that is usually the problem.

Anyway, I’m wandering away from the point of all this.  Today I had some very bad news.  News I kind of knew was coming but I tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away.  Today I was told my dog, my cute, beautiful, intelligent, cheeky, smiley (yes, she can smile), gorgeous, brilliant, clever, loving and faithful companion, my Charlie, has an inoperable brain tumour.

I’ve had her for over 12 years and we’ve been through so much together, so many amazing journeys, unemployment, failed relationships, TV shows, fame (sort of), fortune (kind of) and everything in between.  And now she’s lying next to me looking and sounding so very, very ill.  Last weekend she had 5 seizures in 24hrs, they were more like strokes and with each one she looked a little worse.  Then she bounced back Sunday night, looked a little happier, she licked my face and smiled.  But it was the drugs helping her through and as they wore off, and she looked even worse, I knew she wasn’t going to get any better.  The place we went to today for her MRI scan was amazing.  Deep in the Hertfordshire countryside it was a hospital, not a big vet’s surgery, a full sized hospital with 6 surgeons, 11 consulting rooms, 6 wards, 50 nurses and anything up to 90 furry patients at any one time.  To see so many animals coming and going, all being cared for in such beautiful, rolling countryside was a wonderful experience.  But as nice as it was, Charlie won’t be going back because they can’t make her better.  She may be with us for a few more months, more likely a few more weeks.  The drug she is on is actually a human drug, not intended for use on animals but it’s the best thing for her, apparently.  All I know, as my baby lies next to me, blind in one eye, breathing heavily, sometimes crying, occasionally trying to get up but falling down again; we’re coming to the end of our journey together.  And it’s been beautiful.

If you’ve never had a pet you probably won’t understand, if you have, I don’t need to explain.

Thank you to all of my Twitter followers who have sent messages, I mean Tweets, of love and support.  I don’t want to turn my Twitter feed into a blow by blow account of the last days of my little girl but I do want to show my appreciation for all the love.

Derren (and Charlie)  xxx

Series 5, Jackie and Joan…

Well, what with all the kerfuffle in the press about series 5, Jackie and Joan Collins, I thought I should probably write a little blog to keep you up to date.  So, basically, yes, I said series 4 would be “the end of my Benidorm journey” (how camp??!) but that was well before the end of series 4 transmission (in fact it may have been at the beginning, I can’t remember).  I thought we had made a very good show but I genuinely thought fans would watch and think, “that’s a nice end to the Benidorm series”.  In fact I’m being modest, I thought I had written the best series yet and that, for me, was a reason to stop; to go out on a high.  I had no idea the public reaction would be so incredible and it became clear to me by the transmission of episode 5 that viewers wanted more.  So it was a combination of two things, ITV & Tiger Aspect were extremely keen on me being involved in a 5th series and  I just couldn’t say goodbye to these bizarre characters I created.

A lot of press have reported that the only reason I came back to be involved in another series of Benidorm was because of the possible involvement of Joan Collins.  After receiving a tweet from Jackie Collins suggesting her sister Joan Collins should be in the show I did reply saying “Joan Collins in Benidorm??!! I ain’t gonna let anyone else write that. Looks like I’m coming back”.  Why did I write that when I had already agreed my contract weeks before?  Well, apart from being giddy as a kipper (as my Nana used to say) that Jackie Collins tweeted me saying she & her sister love the show, I also knew it would be a funny & camp way of announcing my return.  As many of you know, I don’t court publicity for myself as an individual particularly (I do the odd radio interview for friends but have never accepted requests for TV interviews and I’ve only ever done one newspaper interview in 4 series of Benidorm – and that was never published) but writing tv shows is now the main bulk of my living so I do need to promote my business. Also, it goes without saying that Jackie’s new book just happens to be out this week, now that lady IS a publicity genius!

Has Joan Collins signed a contract to appear in Benidorm?  Of course not.  The scripts aren’t even written yet.  Would we like her to be in it?  Definitely! What many people tend to forget is Joan is a brilliant comedy actress.  But filming is a long way off and who knows what will happen between now and then.

As for me, I’m overjoyed to be back making up crazy stories for the Garveys et al.  I won’t write every episode this series but I’ll be there throughout the series to lend a hand, assisting our brilliant team including new writers, directors and my producer Ben Cavey and Exec Producer Sophie Clarke-Jervoise.  I reckon we’ll make Benidorm for as long as the fans of the show continue to love it.  The great thing is we are critic-proof, I’m told we have never had a good review in the press but I think it’s logical to take notice of 6 million viewers of the show rather than one lonely, embittered hack who is furious about their own failed career.

The people have spoken!  We are coming back! You should have known, what have I always said?… “this is just adios and not goodbye”.

P.S.

Thanks for all your messages of support via twitter what with a 5th series of Benidorm, a book and a new tv comedy I have a lot to get on with but I try to reply to as many messages as I can.

Competition time!

To celebrate the 4th series of Benidorm I have put together a great compeition which will see one lucky winner bag a whole host of Benidorm goodies.  A signed DVD Box Set, a signed script (very rare!), a series 4 cast photo and an EXCLUSIVE Benidorm cast & crew baseball cap (not available anywhere – unless you know know a member of the cast and crew and can wrestle it from them!)

The question for the competition is at the end of this blog, along with the email address to send your entry.  The winner will be drawn on the evening of episode 1, Friday 25th Feb, 2011.  Please, only one entry per person.

I’m really looking forward to series 4 although it is with mixed emotions because, for me, it is the end of my Benidorm journey.  I can’t begin to tell you what this show means to me, it has changed my life in so many ways.  Not least the amazing friends I have made along the way.  I won’t be writing any more episodes of Benidorm, for me the story of the Garveys and all of the other characters I created ends at episode 6 of series 4.

This is not to say the show won’t continue without me, that’s in the hands of ITV and Tiger Asepct.  Two companies I have loved working with and hopefully will again in the future on other projects.

The recent winning of The National Television Award for Most Popular Comedy was incredible; thank you so much for all of you who voted.  But all good things must come to an end and as hard as it is for me to say goodbye to these characters, who are all so close to my heart, the time is right.

COMPETITION

In series 3 Noreen serenaded her son, The Oracle, with a karaoke tune to celebrate his “coming out”.  That song was Y.M.C.A.  But what was the song Geoff sang on the karaoke in the same episode?  We need you to give us the name of the song and the original artist.

Please email your entry to    benidormtweets “at” yahoo.com

Please replace the “at” with the approriate character.

MAKE SURE THE SUBJECT IN YOUR EMAIL IS:  SERIES 4   or it will not go into the hat.

GOOD LUCK!

Derren x