Today and yesterday we had casting sessions for my new show Benidorm. Cant really mention any names but I have been amazed at the sort of people who have agreed to come in and read; well known names and very talented actors. Still can't get used to sitting the "other side of the desk" and seem to apologise too much for bringing actors in. They generally smile and look slightly bemused and of course they should. What the fuck am I banging on about? "thank you so much for coming all this way to Soho - oh, you live in Camden? Well thanks for coming out in this heat anyway - oh, you like the heat - well thanks for coming on the strength of the script - oh, you like the script?... etc etc. I've been going to castings (as an actor) like this for fifteen years, if somebody went on at me like that I would think they were either mad or taking the piss. Must write out 500 times before I go to bed, "I have devised and written a comedy series that has been commissioned for television, I am not a competition winner".

Tonight was the recording of my second ep of Green Green Grass at Teddington studios. Unfortunately I couldn't attend and apparently all the cast and crew cried and sang songs around a life sized picture of me while holding candles just before and directly after the recording. Not really… I imagine Ella Kenion said, "I wonder if Derren's coming?" and somebody else with a tool kit on his belt leaning against a lamp probably said, "Darren who?".

Good news, today my building society paid back the money stolen from my account a number of weeks ago. £1,600 in all, I thought it was £1,200 but I assume they can add up better than me, after all, it's their job. According to the letter I received my card had been cloned and the pin number stolen but God knows when that must have happened, I thought I was always quite vigilant when entering my PIN number… obviously not vigilant enough. The exciting part of the letter said that they had apprehended the people who had been using the cloned card, I guess this must have been in somewhere exotic as all the money withdrawals had been in Colombia. I wonder if I will be called upon to star in one of those crime reconstructions with Trevor McDonald? No, of course not, they always get someone else to play the part of the victim of crime. I should like Tom Cruise to play me before my bank card theft and possibly Judi Dench to play me after, she's got slightly more hair than me but apart from that I think the resemblance is uncanny. With this exciting thought in mind I celebrated my good fortune (getting me £1.6K back, not the idea of Judi Dench playing me in a crime reconstruction) with two slices of wholemeal toast spread thickly with Nutella.

Went to see George Benson tonight at The Albert Hall, brilliant concert and a packed, very receptive audience. Was quite impressed with Benson's stage presence, he seemed genuinely surprised by the huge ovation he received when he took the stage and did just the right amount of talking between songs; always feel a bit short changed when singers/groups don't do any talkie bits between songs, I like to hear how much they "love coming to England" etc. I went to see Frank Sinatra in 1990 at the newly built London Docklands Arena and he told the assembled fans how much he loved England and if he didn't live in America he would live here. Apparently he said the same in Scotland about living there when he performed in Glasgow the same year; but as long as he meant it when he said it that's fine by me (the fact that he was still alive for me to see him in the flesh was fine by me). Before G Benson we had a fantastic Indian meal in Kensington, restaurant called "Little India", only a small place but fantastic food, best Indian meal I've had in a long time (and reasonably priced too). On the window it had a sign saying, "The owner of the restaurant eats here"; can't say fairer than that I suppose (and I don't blame him).

Cancelled the dentist for this morning, well, didn't cancel the appointment, postponed it until next Tuesday. Don't know why I'm putting it off, the work has to be done; I think I probably backed out because I'm going to a concert tomorrow night and I don't want a numb face and aching jaw although I've been to a few concerts in my youth where you got that anyway. Thankfully my days of being polite and seeing friends in shit bands in tiny pubs are over; it's Tony Bennett, Gladys Knight, Lionel Richie, Michael Buble etc all the way for me from now on. I seemed to spent most of my twenties apologising for the music I listened to, these days I really couldn't give a fuck what people think (on many levels thank goodness) and if they want to pity me for wanting to listen to Matt Monro then good for them (whoever "they" are). Oh dear, rather an antagonistic blog today, I think I'm annoyed with myself for cancelling the dentist. Speaking of which I've been told I should replace a missing tooth that is right at the back (well, the space is right at the back); apparently a bridge is no good and it would have to be an implant at the cost of approximately £2,000. How much disposable income would one have to have to justify spending £2K on a replacing a tooth that can't be seen and wouldn't make any difference to eating/chewing etc? However much that is I certainly don't have it now and can't imagine I ever will.

Watched the football, England v… oh God, I swear I'm not doing this for comedy effect but I have really forgotten who they were playing. As I feel I keep having to justify, I'm not that into football but like to clap along during the world cup and that other tournament where Gazza always cries. Anyway, as usual England where pretty rubbish, well, not rubbish, that's not fair as they did win in the end but it has to be said they don't make it easier for themselves. Of course the only way they could make it easier is by playing better and I'm afraid that seems to be beyond their capabilities. Somebody on the radio was saying a Germany v England final is feasible due to the way the matches have been drawn; lots of excitable waffling about it being a rematch after 40yrs or something. The only thing they don't mention is the feasibility study kind of goes out the window when you realise the England team are just a bit poo. But, a win is a win (as my friend used to say on his Hook a Duck stall a Hull Fair) and David Beckham scored the winning goal and there were many shots of his wife (the one that used to be in The Spice Girls and has teeth that point backwards like a snake) as she jumped about and hugged her son in such a fashion that it looked as though her spindly arms might break. The player called Joe Cole seems to be shrinking, getting progressively shorter in each game, is it the stress or do they keep leaving him out in the rain at night? The ref looked very greasy and suspicious (he speaks very highly of me apparently).

Watched a tiny bit of Big Brother tonight. I must admit I haven't watched any at all since my last blog entry about Shazam (or whatever his name was) and his mental illness being passed off as TV entertainment (not so bad when you consider My Hero is on it's 6th series). I realise I haven't exactly been an avid fan for this series of BB but I hardly recognised anyone from the first couple of "shows", I can only assume they have several new house mates for some reason; either that or I really wasn't paying attention at all. My 3 or 4 min folly into the world of BB today consisted of a ropey old bird of about 50 with a leather face and comedy tits and a strange boy in the diary room who spent the entire time flinching, barking, spitting, gurning and rolling his eyes. At first I thought the producers had decided to spice things up by adding a touch of Ketamine into the daily food ration but sadly no such luck, this was just another nut case with another debilitating medical ailment (tourettes this time) incarcerated in a designer prison with the usual social rejects gagging for just a bit more than his allotted 15 mins. I'm afraid what with the tennis and the world cup I just can't commit to 3 or 4 (or is it more?!) helpings of Big Brother a week; I'm a busy man…those DVDs of Citizen Smith won't watch themselves you know.