Started a juice only 7 day diet today. It's kind of a detox thing but you're also guaranteed to lose 7 pounds too. Started the morning with an apple, carrot and wheatgrass juice. Similar thing for lunch and more or less the same for dinner. I quite like nut case diets like this, anything that is an extreme is good for me; either I'm getting wrecked on a bottle of gin or I don't touch alcohol for months. Similar deal with food really. Not exactly sure if I'll be able to go the whole 7 days without eating anything though (only drinking)… watch this space. (Well, not this precise space, the bit above it might be more interesting).

BENIDORM - Nice lie in, finally caught up on sleep, not a cloud in the sky today, absolutely scorching sun; apparently yesterday had been Benidorm's first cloudy day in months; they obviously knew we were coming. More looking around the favourite hotel and some time to buy tacky gifts for various wives/partners/friends. Left Benidorm about 6pm for Alicante airport then spent the plane flight watching a random movie I had transferred to my PSP; "The Quick and The Dead". Not my usual choice of film but served the purpose of getting me from Spain to London (oh, the aeroplane helped too I guess). Gatwick Express to Victoria then cab back to North London; how do people do this sort of travelling every week? Feel absolutely wiped out, cant imagine there will be any blog entries over the weekend 'cause I think it's gonna take me at least 24hrs to recover. It's a hard life.

BENIDORM - Got Gatwick Express from Victoria at 6am this morning for a 8.30am flight to Alicante. This meant getting up at 5am, although as I didn't get in until 3am and then wrote my blog then had to pack a case I didn't actually have to get up at all, just get out of the shower. Five of us all together on this two day trip to find the location for my new TV series. Fairly comfortable flight (if you dont count the horrendous hang over) two and a half hours being just about my limit without having to resort to ipods, PSP's, etc. So I read the newspaper and before too long (well, 2 and a half hours actually) we landed at Alicante airport. We met one of our "fixers" Sven at the airport and we were ferried to Benidorm (40mins away) by much appreciated air-conditioned cars (the air conditioning was much appreciated, the cars themselves were essential). We had 6 or 8 hotels to look at, the weather was extremely hot but the sun totally obscured by very dense cloud which totally filled the sky. At our hotel we met Sven's business partner Tim who turns out I worked with on Pie In The Sky a hundred years ago. You know you've been knocking around a bit when you even know people from past jobs in other countries! The first place we looked at seemed perfect (for exterior shooting) and to be honest wasn't really bettered during the rest of the day. So after we looked at the last hotel we went back to the first one and tried to work out if it was possible to adapt the rooms and corridors of the hotel to make them look like apartments; looked quite encouraging. After this it was back to our hotel and an hours rest/shower etc then we all ventured out into the old town for some dinner. Had fantastic 'tapas' in a very traditional Spanish restaurant, we sat outside, thank god, as the evening was just as hot and humid as the day had been. The food never seemed to end as plates and plates of various octopus, spicy potatoes, chorizos, mushrooms, peppers, pork chops, cold meats and finally rabbit graced our groaning table. It was my first time eating rabbit and although I probably wouldn't make a point of ordering it again it was nice to try it and don't think it affected me too adversely. Although in saying that I did have an uncontrollable urge to buy a bag of carrots on the way home.

OK, here's a first, I am writing this blog at 3am after drinking a lot of gin and some tonic. I like writing this blog but sometimes I feel I cant write about the more interesting things that happen ... because they might be a bit too intersesting.. or "contreversial"... sorry for the spelling mistakes, I usually write this in "Word" then cut and paste it but I cant be arsed tonight. So... the one thing that I was dying to write about was one of the casting sessions the other day when an indian actor came to the casting session and went a bit odd when asked what he had been "up to lately" (a standard question at castings to break the ice and start the conversation). He did a big number with his head in his hands and said, "oh god, i just dont know"... Me being a rather nice chap (and not the dreadful cunt my blog would lead you to believe) helped him out by saying, "well it IS very hot".. he snapped back at me saying, "it's nothing to do with the heat, my wife is pregnant". We all ooohed and aaaahed and said, "gosh, what time's it due", "should you be here?!" etc and all that jazz. Anyway, he then told us his wife was due in 6 months time. At this point my sympathy for this annoying cock sucker began to ebb. But being the sporting chap I am we plowed on. "So, the part you are here for is'Troy'..." The director said trying to break the pregnant pause (more fucking pregnant than his wife, thats for sure)... "No, no, I'm not here to read for Troy" the actor said... "I spoke to my agent this morning, I said I didnt want to read for Troy". Cue some looking at lists and shuffling of papers by all present then eventually someone said, "you're down to read for Troy"... Our actor bit back..."When I look at a role I look for something either interesting/amusing or exciting.. Troy is none of those, it's a really badly written badly written character, I'm not interested in reeading for 'Troy'". PAUSE... "I told my agent I would read for 'Mateo' " Oh right... and did your agent tell you that 'Mateo' is a Spanish Waiter? I wanted to say... but of course I didn't... I just left the room. Which I think was a pretty big staement in itself if you ask me (which you didn't). The thing is, I can see this from both points of view as I am an actor as well as a writer. But can I first of all say (to any budding actors reading), don't say any of the characters are rubbish or the writing is crap when the writer is in the same room... No worries if you can't help yourself, the writer wont stay in the same room for long if you do say that (that's asssuming the writer is me). Also, if you are very obviously Indian DONT INSIST ON READING FOR THE PART OF THE SPANISH BARMAN... You WON'T get the fucking job. Not because you cant act, but because you dont look Spanish... and you have annoyed the writer. In fact, I'd rather give the part of the Spanish bar man to a chinese actor before I give it to an Indian actor who thinks my script is shite.... Anyway, to cut a long story short (too late) the actor in question did read the part after I left the room room and was apparently very good.yeah.. a lot of fucking good that did him.... O h dear, i've just read all that and apart from not making much sense I sound like a dreadful showbiz tyrant.... HOOORAY!

Another casting session this morning but I stayed at home to write; looking forward to getting the tape tomorrow and saying to myself, "oh, I wish I'd gone in 'cause I'd have met that woman who played the wife of one of the Likely Lads"… or something along those lines. Went to the dentist this afternoon. The last visit SHOULD have been the LAST visit as far as all this work is concerned but of course there was some annoying complication and I had to go back today. But at last, as well as all the other work, all my metal fillings have been replaced by white ones and now on the rare occasions when I laugh my mouth no longer looks like a bag of loose change. The last crown was put in place and all the children of Swiss Cottage danced in the street at what was the end of an era. Listened to Radio 2 in the car on the way back home, I must say that Chris Evans genuinely sounds as though he is having a great time and I find his attitude very infectious. Did I really just write, "and I find his attitude very infectious" - fucking hell, when did I start writing school reports for radio 2 DJs? Anyway, Chris Evans, yes, I am extremely happy to go against the grain of the recent avalanche of complaints from from radio 2 listeners who have branded Mr Evans presenting style too "frivolous" and "juvenile" for the 'drive time' slot. Well I'm terribly sorry that po-faced housewives in their late thirties haven't got Johnny Walker banging on about stocks and shares while they help their spindly school children into their empty Land Rovers but having Chris Evans say "What's in your locker cocker?" before we hear the sports reporter makes me smile. And that, after all, is the only thing that matters.

Script meeting this morning at Tiger Aspect. Only two scripts to go for Benidorm (eps 5 and 6), it's all getting scarily close to actually making this TV series. We now have a director on board, Kevin Allen (Keith Allen's brother and Lily Allen's Uncle!) who is mainly a movie director; very exciting to have him working with us. Script meeting went well then we went to a Spanish restaurant off Charlotte Street called "Fino"; very swanky. Not the kind of food we will be expecting in Benidorm methinks. Casting in the afternoon at Tiger for a main character we haven't really looked at before now; it's so tricky, we know the right actress for this part is out there somewhere, it's just finding her. Luckily we have brilliant casting directors who are very much on the case. Right, just realised I used the word "methinks" in a non-ironic way so have to go now to hack off my head with a sheet of A4 paper.

Took the clock off my office wall today to adjust the time as it was about 2 mins out. 'That'll learn me', as my friend Alan says; I dropped it on the floor and although it didn't smash it stopped working and now I keep looking up at picture hook above the door to see what time it is. There is a little digital display in the bottom right hand corner of my monitor which lets me know what time it is but I still have trouble with the 24 hour clock (no, I'm not joking) and have to work out the time (I can remember 18:00 is 6pm then have to count up). So you'd think I'd be fine in the morning but then if it's say 10.23 and I have to leave at 11.15am I have to work out how long I have remaining to get ready instead of just being able to see the space between where the big hand is and where it'll be when I have to go (yes, my lips also move when I'm reading). I do have a wrist watch but I have to take it off to type. I tell you, as in the words of Kermit the frog, it's not easy being me (or was that "green", cant remember). So I've just been online to buy a new office wall clock. Unfortunately I got side tracked and bought a Roberts portable DAB radio instead which cost £100. So now I have it in my head that I can't buy a new wall clock this month because I've just spent £100 I hadn't budgeted for. If only I could have lived with my office being 2 mins out of time none of this would have happened. Sometimes I truly wish my life wasn't so complicated.