Derren Litten

Had two emails today from people who found my site from a search engine. How amazing; maybe I have to admit it's not just my mates Alan and Noel who are reading this. Now, I was going to write about something quite sensitive today; money. For some bizarre reason people get very coy talking (or indeed writing) about income; especially performers/writers etc. I was talking to someone very well known at the comedy awards last year, we were talking about the CT Show and that he was a fan of it etc, I said I was a fan of his… we danced for a while… no, that last bit is a joke. Anyway, during the conversation I asked him if he was a millionaire; a perfectly ordinary question I thought - it would seem not. At first he said, "erm, I don't really know". I DON'T REALLY KNOW?! OK, ask yourself this question, "are you a millionaire?" (this is me asking you the reader right now, not to the celeb in question) - I think the answer is almost definitely yes or no. It may well be "mind your own fucking business" but not, "I don't really know". He qualified this in saying, "I've got a bit of property but I don't know how much I'm worth". I'm not having a go at the person I was talking to, he was a really nice bloke but I guess his reaction tells me several things; 1. That I am a nosey bastard with no social skills whatsoever. 2. People generally don't like talking about their income. 3. More specifically, successful people in show business are embarrassed about the level of money they earn. Yes, that's the one. I have earned far more money than my job deserves but then again that doesn't mean I'm rich; it just means that I think my job of titting around in front of a camera or writing things down that make me laugh isn't that 'deserving' in the grand scheme of things. Now, I know what you're thinking… shut the fuck up you whining twat and tell us who the celeb was you spoke to at the comedy awards. I couldn't possibly, it wouldn't be fair; sorry. Right, better go now, don't wanna miss Paul O'Grady's new chat show.