So it’s the last Celebrity Big Brother. I can’t say I’m heartbroken. I don’t think I’ve ever watched a full episode of CBB (or BB for that matter). Of course I saw Vanessa Feltz doing her best Divine impersonation (sadly no dog poo involved), flipping out in a leopard skin coat and dark glasses, barking at Big Brother to “fuck off” while writing obscenities on a blackboard and Michael Barrymore putting the final nails into his career coffin but I can’t say I’m a follower or fan of the show or that genre of television.
I think part of it is that the thought of celebrity has always slightly embarrassed me, actually what am I saying? That’s not true at all. When I was a kid I always assumed I would be famous one day and even at drama school I used to tell Catherine Tate I was baffled when I didn’t cause a sensation by walking onto a busy tube train. Of course now it’s Catherine that would cause a sensation on a train and the relief of nobody knowing who I am (apart from an extremely small minority) is, for me, palpable. I’m not sure what changed my attitude towards fame from presumption to abhorrence but I certainly know any feelings of revulsion as far as celebrity goes is increased tenfold by the shameless and almost inconceivable self promotion of the Celebrity Big Brother housemates. The other thing about Big Brother is I don’t actually find it entertaining. The bits I’ve ever watched (celebrity or otherwise) have been either excruciatingly embarrassing or just boring. But you can’t please all of the people all of the time and I know there is an audience for this show (or rather there was, this being the last series) and I don’t think any less of those who enjoy the show. While on location one evening, filming for The Catherine Tate Show, I remember Una Stubbs turning to me between takes and asking me if I could find out who had been thrown out of the Big Brother House. You see, you never know, “they walk among us” as a friend of mine used to say.
I went to see the brilliant Boy George in concert just before Christmas and I think I’ll leave the last wise words to him. He had just found out that morning (astonishingly, by reading it on Twitter!) that the court had decided he was not allowed to participate in the last celebrity Big Brother as it would breach the conditions of his bail. “I was quite pleased when I made some phone calls and it was confirmed I couldn’t go into the Big Brother House, after all, I’ve spent the last 48 years trying to avoid reality…”
