Back To Blog.

Well, at this rate my blog will be updated roughly 7 times per decade.  Not exactly prolific.  But, I do have some kind of excuse.  My website was languishing in some strange part of cyber space but with a little help from my IT dept it seems we're back on track.

So what's happened since my last post?  Well, sadly, Charlie, my beautiful dog died about 3 months after that blog entry; terribly upsetting and I miss her dreadfully. I've spoken to people about the possibility of getting another dog, it's over a year since Charlie died, but I don't think it's fair as I go away to Spain in March. Maybe when I get back from Spain but I can't help thinking it will be weird having a dog in the house who isn't Charlie...

In other news, Benidorm has been re-commissioned for a 6th series and I have another comedy starting in February on SKY LIVING. It's called The Spa and it also marks my return to acting! It's so weird to not have acted for so long. I've certainly missed it and hope it leads to other things. People seem to forget I made a decent living from being an actor for 10 years before I starting writing and I only did that because my friend asked me to. But that story you know, already...

So, the blog is back! I think there's a way to sign up for this so you don't have to keep checking back; I'll figure it out at some point. But in the meantime, do check back soon and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

DL

Charlie Blog

I had some bad news today and curiously it made me think about how I use twitter.  Don’t get me wrong, when I got the news my first reaction wasn’t to rush to my iPhone and tweet but now, after I’ve told my closest friends and considered the ramifications of what I’d been told I didn’t know if it was right to tweet it.  But I’ve got a problem, I’ve already tweeted about this subject at some length and I think I have some obligation (albeit tenuous) to my twitter followers.

So as I said, I’m now thinking why do I tweet?  Why do I tweet personal thoughts and feelings?  Why am I on Twitter?

I suppose most of the time I tweet I’m hoping to make people laugh.  I’ve been doing that all my life and the fact that I now make a living from that is incidental.  If I wasn’t joking around on twitter I’d be doing it in my day to day life to anyone who was kind or stupid enough to listen.  Once a show off always a show off.  At least showing off  on twitter is probably the safest place of all, you can’t see people rolling their eyes and walking away shaking their heads in silence.  So now we come to the other point, why tweet personal matters?  This is a bit more tricky.  I’ve thought long and hard the answer I’ve come up with is I basically lead quite a solitary life.  I live in a family sized house but I live in it alone.  I probably seem to have quite a busy social life but of course you only remember the ludicrous drunken nights out and showbiz parties I tweet from; not the days and weeks between.  Now I don’t want you to go feeling sorry for me, a solitary life is by no means a lonely one.  But sometimes, when I’m homo alono, it’s nice to share something and to remember there are others out there to laugh, sympathise or merely acknowledge.

Don’t get me wrong, for me (and most of you I’d guess), Twitter can also be unfathomably annoying too.  Inane questions repeated again and again, people wanting to have a ping pong conversation 2 words per tweet, people being over familiar and then, very occasionally, hurtful and rude.  But on the whole twitter is a good place to be, for maybe a few mins, maybe a couple of hours, maybe drunk, hopefully sober.  Of course not everyone’s twitter experience is the same.  If you follow 398 people and have 5 people following you it’s going to be a different experience from someone who follows 398 people but has 5,000 people following them.   I occasionally have people say, “why do you always ignore me?”, hopefully the answer to this is obvious, either it’s completely unintentional or you’re a complete tit.  On the other hands I’ve tweeted people I’ve either worked with once or know ‘to say hello to’ but my tweet gets lost in their 150,000 followers and I end up feeling ignored too.  Either way if you’re getting no return on your twitter investment the options are there for you, leave twitter aside for a while, unfollow, block, delete your twitter account (yes I’ve done all of those!), twitter is only as crap and as good as you make it.   Gosh, the more I think about it Twitter is bloody fantastic, it’s the way people use it that is usually the problem.

Anyway, I’m wandering away from the point of all this.  Today I had some very bad news.  News I kind of knew was coming but I tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away.  Today I was told my dog, my cute, beautiful, intelligent, cheeky, smiley (yes, she can smile), gorgeous, brilliant, clever, loving and faithful companion, my Charlie, has an inoperable brain tumour.

I’ve had her for over 12 years and we’ve been through so much together, so many amazing journeys, unemployment, failed relationships, TV shows, fame (sort of), fortune (kind of) and everything in between.  And now she’s lying next to me looking and sounding so very, very ill.  Last weekend she had 5 seizures in 24hrs, they were more like strokes and with each one she looked a little worse.  Then she bounced back Sunday night, looked a little happier, she licked my face and smiled.  But it was the drugs helping her through and as they wore off, and she looked even worse, I knew she wasn’t going to get any better.  The place we went to today for her MRI scan was amazing.  Deep in the Hertfordshire countryside it was a hospital, not a big vet’s surgery, a full sized hospital with 6 surgeons, 11 consulting rooms, 6 wards, 50 nurses and anything up to 90 furry patients at any one time.  To see so many animals coming and going, all being cared for in such beautiful, rolling countryside was a wonderful experience.  But as nice as it was, Charlie won’t be going back because they can’t make her better.  She may be with us for a few more months, more likely a few more weeks.  The drug she is on is actually a human drug, not intended for use on animals but it’s the best thing for her, apparently.  All I know, as my baby lies next to me, blind in one eye, breathing heavily, sometimes crying, occasionally trying to get up but falling down again; we’re coming to the end of our journey together.  And it’s been beautiful.

If you’ve never had a pet you probably won’t understand, if you have, I don’t need to explain.

Thank you to all of my Twitter followers who have sent messages, I mean Tweets, of love and support.  I don’t want to turn my Twitter feed into a blow by blow account of the last days of my little girl but I do want to show my appreciation for all the love.

Derren (and Charlie)  xxx

Series 5, Jackie and Joan…

Well, what with all the kerfuffle in the press about series 5, Jackie and Joan Collins, I thought I should probably write a little blog to keep you up to date.  So, basically, yes, I said series 4 would be “the end of my Benidorm journey” (how camp??!) but that was well before the end of series 4 transmission (in fact it may have been at the beginning, I can’t remember).  I thought we had made a very good show but I genuinely thought fans would watch and think, “that’s a nice end to the Benidorm series”.  In fact I’m being modest, I thought I had written the best series yet and that, for me, was a reason to stop; to go out on a high.  I had no idea the public reaction would be so incredible and it became clear to me by the transmission of episode 5 that viewers wanted more.  So it was a combination of two things, ITV & Tiger Aspect were extremely keen on me being involved in a 5th series and  I just couldn’t say goodbye to these bizarre characters I created.

A lot of press have reported that the only reason I came back to be involved in another series of Benidorm was because of the possible involvement of Joan Collins.  After receiving a tweet from Jackie Collins suggesting her sister Joan Collins should be in the show I did reply saying “Joan Collins in Benidorm??!! I ain’t gonna let anyone else write that. Looks like I’m coming back”.  Why did I write that when I had already agreed my contract weeks before?  Well, apart from being giddy as a kipper (as my Nana used to say) that Jackie Collins tweeted me saying she & her sister love the show, I also knew it would be a funny & camp way of announcing my return.  As many of you know, I don’t court publicity for myself as an individual particularly (I do the odd radio interview for friends but have never accepted requests for TV interviews and I’ve only ever done one newspaper interview in 4 series of Benidorm – and that was never published) but writing tv shows is now the main bulk of my living so I do need to promote my business. Also, it goes without saying that Jackie’s new book just happens to be out this week, now that lady IS a publicity genius!

Has Joan Collins signed a contract to appear in Benidorm?  Of course not.  The scripts aren’t even written yet.  Would we like her to be in it?  Definitely! What many people tend to forget is Joan is a brilliant comedy actress.  But filming is a long way off and who knows what will happen between now and then.

As for me, I’m overjoyed to be back making up crazy stories for the Garveys et al.  I won’t write every episode this series but I’ll be there throughout the series to lend a hand, assisting our brilliant team including new writers, directors and my producer Ben Cavey and Exec Producer Sophie Clarke-Jervoise.  I reckon we’ll make Benidorm for as long as the fans of the show continue to love it.  The great thing is we are critic-proof, I’m told we have never had a good review in the press but I think it’s logical to take notice of 6 million viewers of the show rather than one lonely, embittered hack who is furious about their own failed career.

The people have spoken!  We are coming back! You should have known, what have I always said?… “this is just adios and not goodbye”.

P.S.

Thanks for all your messages of support via twitter what with a 5th series of Benidorm, a book and a new tv comedy I have a lot to get on with but I try to reply to as many messages as I can.

Competition time!

To celebrate the 4th series of Benidorm I have put together a great compeition which will see one lucky winner bag a whole host of Benidorm goodies.  A signed DVD Box Set, a signed script (very rare!), a series 4 cast photo and an EXCLUSIVE Benidorm cast & crew baseball cap (not available anywhere – unless you know know a member of the cast and crew and can wrestle it from them!)

The question for the competition is at the end of this blog, along with the email address to send your entry.  The winner will be drawn on the evening of episode 1, Friday 25th Feb, 2011.  Please, only one entry per person.

I’m really looking forward to series 4 although it is with mixed emotions because, for me, it is the end of my Benidorm journey.  I can’t begin to tell you what this show means to me, it has changed my life in so many ways.  Not least the amazing friends I have made along the way.  I won’t be writing any more episodes of Benidorm, for me the story of the Garveys and all of the other characters I created ends at episode 6 of series 4.

This is not to say the show won’t continue without me, that’s in the hands of ITV and Tiger Asepct.  Two companies I have loved working with and hopefully will again in the future on other projects.

The recent winning of The National Television Award for Most Popular Comedy was incredible; thank you so much for all of you who voted.  But all good things must come to an end and as hard as it is for me to say goodbye to these characters, who are all so close to my heart, the time is right.

COMPETITION

In series 3 Noreen serenaded her son, The Oracle, with a karaoke tune to celebrate his “coming out”.  That song was Y.M.C.A.  But what was the song Geoff sang on the karaoke in the same episode?  We need you to give us the name of the song and the original artist.

Please email your entry to    benidormtweets “at” yahoo.com

Please replace the “at” with the approriate character.

MAKE SURE THE SUBJECT IN YOUR EMAIL IS:  SERIES 4   or it will not go into the hat.

GOOD LUCK!

Derren x

Formspring Question

I’m on something on the internet called Formspring where people can ask you questions on any subject they like.  The reason I’m on this (not that I need one) is because I don’t do interviews in the press or on television so this is a place where supporters (and haters, although they don’t really seek me out there) can ask any questions relating to my work.  I got a question today which wouldn’t fit on the answer section of the website, so I thought I’d put it here.  Oh, and Merry Christmas.

Q: Does it annoy you that Benidorm mostly gets bad reviews from critics? Why do you think the critics dislike the show so much even though it’s extremely popular with the fans?

A: It doesn’t annoy me, it’s just one person’s opinion.  My TV show Benidorm is not everyone’s cup of tea, of course I’m fully aware of that.  The mother of one of the cast calls it, “that ghastly programme”.  Although when I heard that it really made me laugh.  The show is influenced heavily by the television shows and films I watched when I was growing up, Are You Being Served, Duty Free,  the Carry On films, etc.  I guess if you liked them you will probably like my show but then maybe not, the great thing is I don’t have to analyse it; my priority is to write  something I am proud of and make a living.  I don’t really speak about other comedy programmes I don’t “get”, if they are popular programmes it will probably just come across as sour grapes but I’ll give you a good example:  The Inbetweeners.  I was very late coming to The Inbetweeners for various reasons, in fact I only watched the first series dvd while in Benidorm this year.  Now, it has all the elements that I suppose should appeal to me, crude, lavatorial humour, swearing etc.  But it just didn’t make me laugh.  I think it made me laugh once during each episode.  But I don’t dismiss it as rubbish or bad writining or poor performances.  I suppose I just don’t relate to it.  I hated school and very rarely attended, I’m not a middle class hetrosexual, most of my friends at school (when I was there) were girls and not boys.  Are these the reasons The Inbetweeners doesn’t make me laugh?  I have absolutely no idea but unlike critics who gets frustrated and angry about Benidorm’s popularity because they don’t “get it”, I just feel I’m missing out.  If a comedy show is hugely popular but it doesn’t make me laugh I genuinely feel deprived, not furious.  But in saying that I don’t dwell on it, I move on and watch the programmes that do make me laugh.  Of course another answer to your question is the ITV debate.  Would I have watched a new half hour situation comedy on ITV1 starring Johnny Vegas (it didn’t actually “star” Johnny Vegas but that’s how a lot of reviewers billed it because they were too lazy to find out/inform their readers who the other actors were)?  No, almost definitely not.  But I would have tuned in after friends whose judgement I value had reccomended it to me.  A boss of a friend of mine says he won’t watch Benidorm because it is on ITV.  Not because of the subject matter, not because of the reviews, not because of who is in it but  just because he doesn’t watch ITV and never would.  I must also add at this point that he is a total and utter cunt (which I admit, may or may not be purely coincidental).

At the end of the day it’s all subjective isn’t it?  Or is it objective? I’ve no idea,  I have very little  education, a subject I’m sure my critics and I could finally agree on.

The Benidorm Christmas Special is on tonight, Boxing Day, 26th December 2010 at 9pm on ITV1.

http://www.formspring.me/derrenlitten

Competition time!

To celebrate The Benidorm Christmas Special I’m giving away a signed copy of series 3 DVD plus a personalised Benidorm Christmas Card!

Ten runner’s up will get a personalised Derren Litten Benidorm Christmas card.

So here is the question:  Why is Benidorm your favourite TV show?   The BEST answer wins.  Guest judge of the competition will be Mr Jake Canuso.  Maybe we can ask him to throw in a signed picture of himself too?

Please put BENI XMAS in the subject matter of your email or else it won’t count.   Competition closes 12pm 21st Decemeber 2010- My 40th birthday!!!

All entires to                    benidormtweets    @    yahoo      .com    (no spaces, these are to avoid spam).

Good luck and Merry Christmas!!!
Derren x

One Man Went To Blog

Derren found having one ear higher than the other a boon when filming.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry….  I KNOW I said this was gonna be a weekly blog, what can I say?  I’ve just been too damn busy.  And before you say it, no, not busy getting drunk but doing actual work.  I know, I was surprised too.

So what can I tell you about the last couple of months?  Well I certainly know what I CAN’T tell you (and there’s been QUITE a lot of that) but don’t worry, it will all go into the book.  (In case you haven’t heard me tweet about my book it is gonna be called The Benidorm Diaries – working title – and I’m gonna spill all the dirt about ALL the mad, crazy, embarrassing, hilarious, sad, unbelievable and outrageous things that have happened while writing and filming this series.   I’ve written bits and pieces already but I won’t write the full thing until the show ends.  It will be pretty full on and I imagine not everyone will be happy about it but I reckon if a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing properly; you all know me by now!).

So, the most memorable thing that happened in the last few weeks was our traditional Sparks BBQ.  Every year the Spanish electricians from the crew put on an amazing BBQ, this year they really excelled themselves, the grounds of the production office looked incredible, all decked out in halloween set dressing complete with cobwebs, pumpkins, ghosts and clock work crawling spiders! The food was delicious, the sangria strong and the firework display at the end was awesome.  How these guys work a 12-13 hour day (and I mean REAL work, not sitting on their arses watching a monitor all day like me) then have the time to organise and put on all this is beyond me.  After the BBQ we screened the Benidorm Xmas Special on a big projector.  I’m not being immodest when I write this (because the show is not just my script, it’s EVERYONE pulling together, cast, crew, production, etc) but it was amazing.  I think this is the best episode of Benidorm we’ve ever made.  It’s very hard to tell and you may disagree when you see it but I doubt you’ll see anything as funny, entertaining, moving and CHRISTMASSY this holiday period.  Everyone did a great job and I’m so proud of them.

During the editing process of the Special the director, producer, myself and several other people have to view the show.  Because we were still in Benidorm and the show was being edited in the UK we have to either download episode parts or get the office to download it from an ftp site (no, I don’t rally know what that means either) and transfer it onto our laptop via a usb memory stick (this is starting to sound like an episode of Star Trek).  Well, I don’t know how much of this I’m allowed to tell you about this but a few weeks ago Tiger Aspect were informed that someone had obtained a copy of the Benidorm Christmas Special and they wanted money for it’s safe return.  I’ve heard of people being held to ransom but TV shows?  When this person was asked how they obtained the show they said they “found a USB stick with it on”.  ”We watched it, Su Pollard is in it”, they declared, as if this was cast iron proof they had the show.  The news of Su being in town had been in every newspaper in Benidorm plus she’d been on several TV shows in the UK talking about her appearance so that proved nothing.  But we had to take the threat seriously, not  only did we not want copies of the show on the internet the version of the show (if they had it) was nowhere near the final cut, we didn’t want the show not only being ruined but also being shown in an unfinished state.  Now as I say, I don’t think I’m allowed to go into details about this but an amount of money was agreed, a meeting was set up and a member of the production team and myself sat waiting for the call to tell us where the exchange was to take place.  We waited… and waited… and then….   Actually I think I’m gonna save this for my book; it’s too good to waste here!

So, the weeks roll on and more and more hilarious and brilliant guest stars come to this crazy town to visit us and appear in the show.  Banarama were here last week and as you’ll know if you follow @BenidormTweets on Twitter, they were fantastic.  I think there’s is my favourite episode of the 4th series.  Although in saying that we haven’t finished yet, we’ve still got another 3 weeks to go.  Speaking (or typing) of which I’d better go and rewrite a of joke for next week, this happens very rarely but the ITV lawyers have disallowed a Michael Jackson joke so I have to think of another one.  Oh well, it will all go in the book…