There's
a football game on tonight apparently; Arsenal and France
or something; no, it's being played in France, not sure
who the other team is. I committed the ultimate sin
in a black cab today by telling the driver I didn't
follow football. "Where are you watching the match?"
was his opening gambit as I sat in his cab. Bit familiar
I thought... "Oh, is there a football match on
tonight?", I innocently enquired. The man peered
at me in his rear view mirror in a way I can only describe
as 'bewildered terror'. What had I done? Had I accidentally
gobbed on his dashboard photo of his two gnome-like
children? Maybe I had absent mindedly peed on the floor
of his cab? Perhaps I had unintentionally written "GAY
CAB DRIVER" in the condensation of his back window
thus ensuring every driver behind him thinking he didn't
like football whenever it rained. Now the thing is I
sometimes enjoy watching football, I really enjoyed
the match last Saturday, Liverpool and… somebody
else; can't remember who, but the penalties were very
exciting and it was for some big shiny trophy which
in my mind always make it extra nice. But, need I say,
I am not a follower of football and this man obviously
thought he was on a good wicket when I got into his
cab, looking forward to a blokesy chat about "strong
back fours" and not being "solid enough in
midfield" (or whatever they say)… The cab
driver didn't speak to me again; I wanted to ask what
he thought of the new Mike Leigh play at the National
but somehow I don't think he would have seen the irony
in the question. Plus if he had seen it I would have
been fucking furious.
