Her: Can I have your full name?
Me: Derren Litten, D-e-r-r-e-n
Her: Sorry, Darren what? Little?
Me: No, my first name is Derren.
Her: Yeah, I've got Darren, I need your
surname.
Me: My first name is De-
Her: I've got your first name, it's
your surn-
Me: No you haven't.
Her: Sorry?
Me: You haven't got my first name.
LOOKS DOWN AT THE FORM SHE'S FILLING
IN FOR ME
Her: Darren.
Me: No. Derren.
Her: I said Darren.
Me: It's Derren, it's spelt D-e-r-r-e-n.
Her: Oh right, I've never seen Darren
spelt like that before.
Now normally this is where I would give
up but this woman was really annoying and kept talking
over me before I had finished so had to be dealt with
accordingly (if this wasn't enough she was wearing a
sleeveless top and had very fat, blotchy arms - my forgiveness
has limits).
Me: My name isn't Darren. It's Derren.
BLANK LOOK FROM FATTY.
Me: Can you hear the difference? Derren,
Darren.
Her: You're saying the second one a
bit louder.
DEEP BREATH
Me: If you were filling this form in
for someone called Terry would you write Tarry?
Her: Tarry isn't a name.
Me: Terry isn't a name? Are you joking?
My Dad's called Terry.
Her: I said Tarry isn't a name.
Me: Oh, so you can hear a difference?
Her: What difference?
Me: Between Terry and Tarry.
Her: I thought you're name was Darren?
