I'm late
with my deadline of the 4th episode of 'Benidorm'. Admittedly
this is a deadline I set myself which obviously means
I only have myself to answer to, which obviously means
I haven't bothered to finish it. Actually that's not
true, if I just hadn't bothered to finish it I'd be
on holiday somewhere rather lovely and I'm not, I'm
at home in North London starring aimlessly at the four
scenes I've written thinking, "this is rubbish".
Some days I just can't write anything and so spend a
lot of that time reading; not fiction of course, if
it didn't happen why on earth would anyone want to read
about it? This is a crap excuse I use for only reading
biographies and history; I don't know if there is another
reason why I wouldn't dream of reading the latest Tony
Parson's or Iain Banks (I could probably put a sneering
joke of "probably because their books are shit"
here but as I've never read any of their books I can't.
I should have not mentioned it and you, my well read
friends could have thought that yourselves and felt
very smug. Mind you, if you think having the latest
Tony Parson or Iain Banks on your shelf makes you 'well
read' then you have no right to feeling smug. Ever.
I imagine). Because of my penchant for facts rather
than fiction I'm afraid I've never read any of the classics;
, Bleak House, Pride and Prejudice, Howard's End, Lord
of The Flies, The Grapes of Wrath, Farewell To Arms,
To Kill A Mocking Bird, Animal Farm, Treasure Island,
Lord of The Rings etc. Although the fact that I just
came up with all those titles (and know who wrote them)
without looking on the internet makes me feel rather
smug and glad that I didn't bother going to University
(after all they would have only made me actually read
them). Quentin Crisp said the most important advice
any writer can have is, "never read"; so I
didn't. That's not entirely true of course, I've just
looked behind me at the shelves in my office and at
approximately 20 books per section of Ikea shelving
there must be six or seven hundred books here. Just
so you don't think me some chinless boffin (on the contrary,
I have several chins) or four-eyed book worm here is
the frivolous tripe which I have on offer on one of
the said shelves..
Porridge The Inside Story - Richard
Webber, Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais
The Life and Death of Peter Sellers - Roger Lewis
Brando - Peter Manso
Rat Pack Confidential - Sean Levy
The Orton Diaries - John Lahr
Peter Cook Remembered - Various
Always Unreliable - Clive James
Pigs Can Fly - Barry Cryer
Stan & Ollie The Roots of Comedy - Simon Louvish
Jolson - Goldman
Love All The People - Bill Hicks
A Clown Too Many - Les Dawson
No Tears For The Clown - Les Dawson
Alan Bennett - Untold Stories
Trouble Man The Life and Times of Marvin Gaye - Steve
Turner
Dino - Nick Tosches
Dudley Moore - Rena Fruchter
My Life - Edith Piaff
Backstage With The Dean Martin Show - Lee Hale
Make of that lot what you will, I'm
off out with the dog as I still cant be bothered to
continue with episode 4.
