Derren Litten

The dentist again today. Will this pain and suffering never end? Now I'm told that the final two fillings that I'm having replaced cannot be regular fillings, they have to be porcelain crowns. Bumping the price from £80 each to £400 each. The thing is, what are you supposed to say? "No, I don't think so, I think regular white fillings will be fine thanks". Or, "Tell you what, I might just do it myself, I've got a neighbour that did her own fillings and apart from passing out from the pain and having to buy a new living room carpet because she couldn't get the blood out she was fine". It's not even like going to a motor mechanic, after all if he says you need a new head gasket you may have the knowledge that you in fact only need a new spark plug (do stop me if I start to make sense at any point). The fact that my dentist looks and sounds like Latka from 70's US sitcom Taxi is no longer enough to keep me going back every 2 or 3 weeks to give him hundreds (often thousands) of my easy earned cash. This is absolutely, without question the last appointment I'm having with him. Unless of course there's anything else that needs doing then I'll silently nod with my mouth full of torpedo shaped cotton wool while he books me in for yet another session of pain filled daylight robbery.